I need to pull myself together. It’s simple. I know what I have to do, but why is it so hard? I’m hoping this post will help me come to terms with a few things, and well, help me pull myself together (although I doubt it). I’m writing this as I’m sitting at uni, with an iced mocha on hand and procrastination in full swing – I have an assignment due Sunday, and I’d like to complete it today (but I know I won’t). Life is busy, who knew?
I’ve just been for a swim. I’m looking to join my uni’s swim club, and I’ve been swimming with them the last few Friday nights, although I won’t be tonight as I’m getting a tattoo in an hour and a half (sorry mum), which is why I decided to come in earlier.
But all of this rambling could be seen as irrelevant and unnecessary, and you’re not wrong. It is, but at the moment, I just need to ramble.
So, what’s been happening?
I haven’t been feeling myself lately. I’m going through another identity crisis while I’m simultaneously feeling overwhelmed with the events happening around the world. Right now, it feels like the world is ending, and my mind has been spiralling out of control. And over the past week, whenever someone has asked me how I’m going, I’ve said, “I’m good”, but I’m not okay. As soon as the sun sets, my anxieties creep up on me, and the next morning, I don’t want to get out of bed.
So, that’s where I’m at. I finally admitted I wasn’t okay to my cousin (although she is yet to read my message). I think I just needed to tell someone, and now whoever reads this post.
I’m not okay, but I’m managing for now.
I’ve set up a plan to get myself back on track with the goals I’ve set for myself. If nothing happens and I continue in a downwards spiral, I’m going to ask for help.
See, I have the dilemma that I love being productive and getting things done while also being a pro procrastinator (which is sometimes good), but also I want to slow down life, and my life is pretty fast-paced at the moment.
I’m back at uni if you couldn’t already tell by my mentioning of assignments, and I’m glad I’m back. I thoroughly enjoy being on campus AND I also got a new job as a news producer for my uni’s student radio, and so far, I love it, but now I’m at uni, working three jobs, and want to pump out some more blog posts.
I also apologise for this post being a little all over the shop. It’s chaotic, but that’s how my mind is running at the moment. I’m jumping left, right, and centre trying to focus.
So, I’m going to focus on slowing down and taking more time to focus on myself. I need to look after myself, and that’s exactly what I’m going to attempt to do.
But right now, I’m going to get ready to get my spontaneous tattoo.
Such is life.