The new year already hasn’t gone to plan. I mean, why would it to begin with? I had hoped to have published a couple of blog posts by now, considering we’re pretty much entering the final stages of January (already!?), but life has been busy – but then again, when isn’t it? I’ve been working, and then working some more. I turned 20… And I am still yet to master the skill of time management. That’s ultimately the reason why this is my first blog post of 2021.
I’ve been thinking about this post, and how I could welcome the new year ever since the clock ticked over (although, I was asleep at the time). It’s been on my mind for a while now. In the past I’ve published an open letter to the year, sharing my hopes and dreams, and have said goodbye to the year just gone. And this post is no different. Except, 2021 has already started.
Where can I begin? I honestly don’t know if I can find the words I want to write right now. They’ll come, but I want to apologise as I ramble on. I mean, you’re here! You’re finally here, although not for many.
I think it’s best we start with the year you follow, 2020. What a year. What a year. I think it’s fair to say 2020 was the year everyone had hoped would be their year, a good year full of health and happiness. Except, well it wasn’t a year full of health and happiness.
And a LOT happened. More than I can remember. All I know is that I’m lucky to live where I live, that I’m lucky life didn’t change that much for me. The year was marked by bushfires, and driving to work was weird as the ground was black and houses and sheds that were once there were no more. COVID-19 didn’t really take off until March causing uni to online where I surprisingly did better than I thought I would and I reconnected with my best friend as we went hiking; I grew closer to some incredible internet friends, I built a better relationship with my body and grew closer to myself, and I started new hobbies to pass the time.
Then, time seemingly disappeared. The second semester of uni was back on campus, but it felt odd. All of a sudden, I was back at work and then not at work because of COVID-19. I guess you could say 2020 was all over the place.
I’ve grown more anxious over the world’s state. It’s hard watching the news. Sometimes I question why all of this is happening and what’s the point. My hearts incredibly heavy thinking about all of this stuff, the stuff I’m watching from afar.
Even a couple of weeks into you, I’m scared. Are you going to be a repeat of 2020? Is the world actually ending? Because it sure feels like we’re destroying her.
But while I’m scared, I also feel more ready to take on what you offer. I know you’re providing me with new opportunities. One is happening faster than I had hoped, but I’m going to take the opportunity and make it work (I’ll share with you all once it’s confirmed).
I think the thing about you, is that I’ve never been in a more comfortable position with who I am and where I am.
Although, you’ve already had me questioning whether my voice is worth listening to. Right now, I’m a small blogger, and there are others who are doing the same thing as me and their audience is growing faster. I understand that it shouldn’t matter, but the comparison is always there. I was thinking about this, more in-depth, the other day and how I need to focus on my progress over being perfect – to focus on making my journey a good one, knowing I’ll end up my destination. And I’m already feeling better about things like I’ve let go. Writing this post is helping too. It’s making way for future posts and letting me ramble.
2021, you’re going to be my year. I’m going to make you my year.
2021, you’re the year of health, happiness, and all-round growth.
And with that, I’m going to continue plodding along, I’m going to continue focusing on what I can achieve everyday and how I can express gratitude to everyone around me.
I know you’re going to throw challenges at me, and I’ll work through them.
You’ve just begun, and while I’ve said I’m ready I’m probably not, but I’m ready.
I’m ready to hike more, to learn to surf, to continue my running journey, to move out, to cook more, to knuckle down and study, to spend time with friends, to play sport, to be alone, to read more, to improve my flexibility, to live life more.
With high hopes,